When you look around your church or small group ask yourself this question, “Do I really know x, y, or z’s life story?” Chances are that you don’t. Yes we are all children in God’s wonderful family, but God’s family is not a homogenous group of likeminded people, and that’s the way God intends for it to be! If we are all alike, then we need to consider how we might be excluding others from belonging to the body of Christ. Our human bodies are made up of many different parts and each part has its own unique function (read 1 Corinthians 12:12-27). We have a healthy body if all the body parts are working as they should. It would never work if all the parts were exactly the same! Similarly God’s family functions best when we embrace our unique attributes and intentionally include all people. We must then recognise what binds us together is God’s love for us and our love for God.
God’s family includes people from every tribe, nation, culture, socioeconomic group, political spectrum, etc. We seldom share the same interests or perspectives on politics, sports, fashion, the arts, and perhaps not even on the best pet to have! Yet God calls us into a shared life in His name, so we are not alone for life’s journey. We are better together. Yes we come with our various attitudes, beliefs, values, imperfections, and impediments, because God calls us into his family. To live as a healthy community we must embrace God’s way and follow the example of His son Jesus Christ, knowing that we have the Holy Spirit to empower, envision and enable us to love our neighbour just as God loves us.
‘Loving our neighbour’ requires us to listen to their story and learn who they are, from where they have come, what they have experienced. Creating compassionate communities who care for one another becomes easier when we are genuinely interested in knowing one another and hearing each person’s life story.
This requires intentional time and some simple skills that everyone can learn. It commences with social conversations about anything so we find common ground. For example a generic question you can ask is “How has your week been?” Then allow the person to answer and chat through the topics that come up. Over time and as the relationship becomes more comfortable, our aim may be to go deeper. We can compare this to tacking a sail boat. You cannot make good headway if you sail directly into the wind. You set your sail a little to the left or to the right of the centre of the keel, so that you make gentle headway toward your destination. This is also true of going deeper in conversation. We listen and do not assume we all have the same understanding of issues of faith and belief.
Some appropriate and gentle questions about a person’s beliefs, experiences, doubts and concerns can create powerful movement within the conversation to help it get to the goal of meaningful ‘heart to heart’ conversation, where all parties are relaxed and experience being heard. It means each one of us needs to be comfortable about articulating our own beliefs, and our own story, so we can find common ground and a shared language of faith. As 1 Peter 3:15 (NIV) says ‘But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect’.
When we go to deeper places in conversations we are speaking ‘heart to heart’. The bible sees the ‘heart’ as the seat of our emotions, our freewill and the life-force within the whole person. Our ‘heart’ can choose for God or against God and when we give our ‘heart’ to Jesus Christ, the Spirit of God indwells the believer’s ‘heart’. Thus ‘heart to heart’ conversations move social chat into spaces where the Holy Spirit is able to enrich both parties within the conversation. Doesn’t that make you eager to participate in deeper or ‘heart to heart’ conversation? It should, because we are both showered with blessings that bind people who are very different together with God’s love.
There are some tips on how you can have ‘heart-to-heart’ conversations presented in the May newsletter.
You can join us for a FREE web workshop on 28th May 2024 where we will drill down deeper into this topic and workshop some scenarios. We will expand still further on this topic in AFCNA’s one day face-to-face workshop ‘Compassionate Care for One Another’ on 28th June 2024 so register early as places are limited.
The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
[Psalm 34: 18]
Reflection and Action
Read 1 Peter 3:15 “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” and think of a difficult time in your life.
1. What were your thoughts, feelings and experiences at that time?
2. What (who or how) were you helped to regain hope during those difficult times?
3. What happened to your faith during that time and after that time?
4. What did you learn from that experience about what compassionate care should look like?
5. Write down your ‘go to’ bible passages that bring you hope and comfort now?
You may like to have a look at AFCNA’s FREE online course ‘Compassionate Care of the Whole Person’. It is a short and free online course with video tutorials and accompanying handouts with reflection questions for you to consider and action which are aimed to help you develop compassionate care for yourself and others in your community. Click here to enrol in this FREE and quick course.
Image by Veronika Andrews from Pixabay
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